Over two thousand years ago, Publilius Syrus was referencing leadership when he wrote, “Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” Calm is not the first word that comes to mind to describe 2020. By all measures, this year has been an ocean of commotion. As the wave of one crisis crashes into the next, leaders at all levels have been tested. Some have risen to meet the challenges, and others are floundering.
With no clear finish line in sight, it’s easy for leaders to get demoralized. The number of people looking for help with anxiety and depression has skyrocketed. Between social distancing, lockdowns, and closures, many people have remarked that every day feels like Groundhog Day.
Later this week, U.S. calendars will mark the year’s biggest paradox: Thanksgiving Day. The awkward emails have already started: “Have a happy Thanksgiving…or as good a one as you can have this year!” You may not be in the mood to give thanks in your COVID bubble.
In the midst of this year’s uncertainty, one thing is certain: this Thanksgiving will be like none other. And while feeling grateful may not come as naturally as in years past, effective leadership has never been focused on what leaders feel: It’s about what they do.
Gratitude and appreciation are essential tools in the leader’s toolkit. Why not use the start of the holiday season as a reset? This is an ideal time to become more intentional about leveraging the power of gratitude.
The Power of Gratitude
Intuitively, most leaders understand that it’s important to show appreciation. A Glassdoor survey found that 68% of employees say their boss shows them enough appreciation. However, 53% of these same employees admit they’d stay longer at their company if they felt more appreciation from that boss. Appreciation doesn’t just impact retention; it also impacts performance. Glassdoor found that 81% of employees report they’re motivated to work harder when their boss shows them appreciation.
People who feel appreciated are also better team players. Research by Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis and one the world’s leading researchers on gratitude, found that “people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. They are rated as more generous and more helpful by people in their social networks.”
Gratitude isn’t just about productivity. It’s vital for well-being and sustainability. Emmons found that gratitude “can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and facilitate more efficient sleep. Gratitude reduces lifetime risk for depression, anxiety and substance abuse disorders, and is a key resiliency factor in the prevention of suicide.”
The Gratitude-Strengthening Framework
There’s a famous joke about a tourist in midtown Manhattan. They see a musician getting out of a taxicab and asks, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Without missing a beat, the musician replies, “Practice.”
If you want to be better violinist, you practice violin. If you want to become a more appreciative leader, you practice deliberate gratitude. There are three key steps to this practice:
1. Look for what’s working well.
Step one is the hardest step to take. When times are tough, the innate human negativity bias makes it easy to find fault, feel lack, and place blame. It takes work to go against the tide and ask: “What’s good about what’s happening right now?” Reframing and expanding your awareness is the first step.
2. Connect emotionally to what’s working well.
Gratitude isn’t a concept. It’s an experience. Take time to savor the moment. Notice what positive feelings arise. While you’re savoring, acknowledge all the interdependent parts that contribute to what’s working well. You’ll quickly see how much of success is a team endeavor.
3. Express your feeling externally.
Gratitude multiplies when it moves from thought to deed. Who can you share this feeling with? Will you share it one-on-one or in a group? Will you write it in a letter? An email? Say it on a zoom call? Capture it in a gratitude journal? Intentionally declaring your gratitude is what releases its alchemical powers.
At its core, leadership is a relationship between two human beings: A leader and someone who chooses to follow. When humans express gratitude, the brain produces oxytocin, a hormone important to bonding. When you show gratitude to those you lead, they’ll become more bonded to you. If that wasn’t enough, there’s a bonus: Expressing gratitude doesn’t only benefit the recipient; it benefits the giver just as much.
It’s been quite the year. The seas around you may not be calm for a while. Yet, deliberately practicing gratitude will strengthen your skill at holding the helm.